Surprise Inside


 
 
 What a surprise this dream gave me!

However, the dream wasn’t so surprising at first glance:

I’m working with a foreign film crew in a pleasant wooded area.

I’m a “go-fer” and have been given the task of finding some “lightning” spray.

Unfortunately, I can’t find this spray in our pile of equipment.

So I run through the woods, looking for the lightning spray.

I enter a series of modern college buildings, where I encounter a neat, trim, blonde student in a hallway.  But I hurry past her without pausing.

I exit the building and come to a residential street.  Across the road are some fine brownstone homes.

The bit about the “lightning spray”, though clever, is typical dream stuff.  The surprise came when I asked myself who the blonde woman was.

I realized that she’s everything I’m not.  She has her life all mapped out; she knows what she wants: a stable middle-class existence, with a family and a home and a good career.

I’ve gone in the opposite direction: moving here and there, changing directions as erratically as a bat—establishing neither home nor family nor stable career.

Yet when I got a sense of that blonde woman, I discovered, to my surprise…

…that she was indeed a part of me.

I found it hard to believe, but the feeling was clear.  I had these same desires—I’d just kept them hidden from myself.

That’s not to say I regret the choice I made, the path I took…

But I needed to see that I have this “other self” within me.  Such realizations make me look at the world a little differently.  Those who would seem “other” no longer seem so other to me.

At the end of the dream, I’m looking across the street at some stone (i.e., stable) homes.  So perhaps I will again have a choice to make.

© 2011, Michael R. Patton
rough audio

About Michael Patton

I am a poet, novelist, and storyteller...A new mythologist, a peace miller, a dream worker...I don't qualify as an illustrator or photographer--I just "make pictures"...I have thirteen books available at amazon... I currently reside in northwest Arkansas, but have lived and worked all over the United States... I'm self-taught, for the most part--which is like searching for the right door in the dark. It's an on-going process.... I don't want to write MY story, I want OUR story, so that's what I'm studying: the human story: past, present, future, in its many aspects--including the spiritual. I'm proceeding at a slow crawl.... I don't see the inner world and outer world as separate. By learning about myself, I learn about others, I learn about my world.... Conversely, as I struggle to understand what I see OUT THERE, I learn about myself.... But to be clear: I don't claim any special understanding. I'm still purblind, still only half-awake.... After frustrating experience with the publisher of my first novel, I've published on my own, beginning with e-books, with plans to move into print and audio. Even video.... Along with a second novel, I've now published eight books of poetry. Each poetry book focuses on a theme. For instance, the collection GLORIOUS TEDIOUS TRANSFORMATION is about the slow difficult wonderful process of change.... In that book, as with all my work, I try to be accessible to a general audience, while also striving to achieve a certain literary quality.
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