Looking the Bug in the Eye


 

Sometimes you have to look the bug in the eye and face the situation…

…so that’s what I did…

I went back to dream in which I get by a VW bug while I’m bicycling (see June 9 entry)…

When I first considered that dream, I thought I’d done the right thing by moving away.

Then I realized that action was a mistake.  I should have faced up to the guy in the bug—dealt with this aspect of myself.

So two nights later, after waking around 5:00 a.m., as I drifted back to sleep, I tried to return to that dream scenario.

I imagined myself in front of that VW bug, in the moment following the accident.

This time, I stood my ground and waited as the driver—a burly fellow—got out of his car and came towards me.

By the time he reached me, he’d transformed into a dwarf creature—something like a troglodyte, I suppose.  And he was a tough little critter—physically strong.

When I tried to shake hands with him, he wrestled me to the ground.

I tried to get up, but he threw me back down—again and again, he threw me back down.

Frustrated, I stopped for an instant.   How could I handle this guy?

But before I could decide on a new course of action, he again shapeshifted—this time into a chimp.

The chimp squatted and bounced up and down on its knuckles a few times, then it vanished.

Yes, my nemesis was gone, but I hadn’t actually solved the problem, had I?  So again, I imagined myself in front of the VW bug.

This time, I got off my bike and walked toward the driver’s side window. 

The angry man opened his door as if to confront me.  But the moment, he stood up—he disappeared—poof!—like a soap bubble.

So, the situation became easier for me the second time around.  But why?

The second time, I’d gone to him, instead of waiting for him to come to me.  Perhaps that made the difference.  I was being more aggressive—but without violent intent. 

There seems to be a lesson here for me…

I don’t know if this lesson can be applied to my dealings with the outside world…

…but it can help me deal with those troublesome, “buggy” aspects of self…

…and that’s where conflict begins, anyway.

© 2011, Michael R. Patton
myth steps

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About Michael Patton

I am a poet, novelist, and fabulist...A new mythologist, a peace miller, a dream worker...I don't qualify as an illustrator or photographer--I just "make pictures"...I have thirteen books available at amazon... I currently reside in northwest Arkansas, but have lived and worked all over the United States... I'm self-taught, for the most part--which is like searching for the right door in the dark. It's an on-going process.... I don't want to write MY story, I want OUR story, so that's what I'm studying: the human story: past, present, future, in its many aspects--including the spiritual. I'm proceeding at a slow crawl.... I don't see the inner world and outer world as separate. By learning about myself, I learn about others, I learn about my world.... Conversely, as I struggle to understand what I see OUT THERE, I learn about myself.... But to be clear: I don't claim any special understanding. I'm still purblind, still only half-awake.... After frustrating experience with the publisher of my first novel, I've published on my own, beginning with e-books, with plans to move into print and audio. Even video.... Along with a second novel, I've now published eight books of poetry. Each poetry book focuses on a theme. For instance, the collection GLORIOUS TEDIOUS TRANSFORMATION is about the slow difficult wonderful process of change.... In that book, as with all my work, I try to be accessible to a general audience, while also striving to achieve a certain literary quality.
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