Sometimes you have to look the bug in the eye and face the situation…
…so that’s what I did…
I went back to dream in which I get by a VW bug while I’m bicycling (see June 9 entry)…
When I first considered that dream, I thought I’d done the right thing by moving away.
Then I realized that action was a mistake. I should have faced up to the guy in the bug—dealt with this aspect of myself.
So two nights later, after waking around 5:00 a.m., as I drifted back to sleep, I tried to return to that dream scenario.
I imagined myself in front of that VW bug, in the moment following the accident.
This time, I stood my ground and waited as the driver—a burly fellow—got out of his car and came towards me.
By the time he reached me, he’d transformed into a dwarf creature—something like a troglodyte, I suppose. And he was a tough little critter—physically strong.
When I tried to shake hands with him, he wrestled me to the ground.
I tried to get up, but he threw me back down—again and again, he threw me back down.
Frustrated, I stopped for an instant. How could I handle this guy?
But before I could decide on a new course of action, he again shapeshifted—this time into a chimp.
The chimp squatted and bounced up and down on its knuckles a few times, then it vanished.
Yes, my nemesis was gone, but I hadn’t actually solved the problem, had I? So again, I imagined myself in front of the VW bug.
This time, I got off my bike and walked toward the driver’s side window.
The angry man opened his door as if to confront me. But the moment, he stood up—he disappeared—poof!—like a soap bubble.
So, the situation became easier for me the second time around. But why?
The second time, I’d gone to him, instead of waiting for him to come to me. Perhaps that made the difference. I was being more aggressive—but without violent intent.
There seems to be a lesson here for me…
I don’t know if this lesson can be applied to my dealings with the outside world…
…but it can help me deal with those troublesome, “buggy” aspects of self…
…and that’s where conflict begins, anyway.
© 2011, Michael R. Patton