Looking Back on the Present


 

In this time of looking back…

…of trying to assess the past year…

…I’m considering why 2011 wasn’t much of a “big dream year” for me.

Yes, I remembered dreams.  Yes, I wrote those dreams down.  I also went into a few of them and unveiled to myself some obvious secrets about myself—so obvious, that I’d missed them.

Nevertheless, this activity was not at the same intense level as in the last decade, especially the time between 2003-2009.

But that’s okay.  I don’t see what I doing now as “avoidance”.  I see it as healthy—as an attempt to create more balance in my life…

One can do good work in a cave, but there comes a time to step back out into the light of day.

In her book Dancing in the Flames, therapist Marion Woodman tells of people going through periods of deep inner examination, and then turning their attention back out, focusing again on the demands of the world outside the cave.

However, I didn’t fully emerge from the cave in 2011…

In the process of moving my blog from MSN Spaces to WordPress, I reconsidered many old dreams—which really weren’t so old.  Problems shown to me in 2003 were often still with me in 2011…

At least now, because of the dreams—and my work done on them—I’m more aware of those problems.

So, I’m not discouraged.  Besides, I’ve learned from my dreams that some struggles will be lifetime projects.

But these old dreams became current in another way as well: as I reconsidered them, I gained new insight.  Sometimes this new insight seemed so obvious!  Yet I’d missed it the first time ’round.

I’d planned to transfer the old material directly to the new site.  Instead, I ended up rewriting each and every entry.  As far as I was concerned, I had no other choice now.

But it was well worth the effort.  I needed to make the knowledge gained from these dreams more a part of me—more a part of my conscious thought.  I also needed a “summing up”—a summing up of a period of intense inner work.

So in one way, 2011 wasn’t an active year for me in terms of dreams…but in another way, it was extremely active.

© 2011, Michael R. Patton
sky rope poetry

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About Michael Patton

I am a poet, novelist, and fabulist...A new mythologist, a peace miller, a dream worker...I don't qualify as an illustrator or photographer--I just "make pictures"...I have thirteen books available at amazon... I currently reside in northwest Arkansas, but have lived and worked all over the United States... I'm self-taught, for the most part--which is like searching for the right door in the dark. It's an on-going process.... I don't want to write MY story, I want OUR story, so that's what I'm studying: the human story: past, present, future, in its many aspects--including the spiritual. I'm proceeding at a slow crawl.... I don't see the inner world and outer world as separate. By learning about myself, I learn about others, I learn about my world.... Conversely, as I struggle to understand what I see OUT THERE, I learn about myself.... But to be clear: I don't claim any special understanding. I'm still purblind, still only half-awake.... After frustrating experience with the publisher of my first novel, I've published on my own, beginning with e-books, with plans to move into print and audio. Even video.... Along with a second novel, I've now published eight books of poetry. Each poetry book focuses on a theme. For instance, the collection GLORIOUS TEDIOUS TRANSFORMATION is about the slow difficult wonderful process of change.... In that book, as with all my work, I try to be accessible to a general audience, while also striving to achieve a certain literary quality.
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