two-sided diver

aquarium vacation - May 27, 2014d
 

A recent dream shows me acting like a fraidy cat…

…while also being an active explorer.

In the dream…

I’m watching an undersea documentary.

Two scuba divers are warned about the possible presence of sharks.

The male scuba diver roams around, enjoying the ocean landscape…

But the female diver takes shelter…

She crawls into an opening in the hull of a sunken boat.

Maybe that fraidy cat is just using good sense…

However, she still doesn’t feel safe.  And perhaps for good reason—something could be lurking in the dark cavernous space behind her.

On the other hand, the other diver might be an even bigger fool—he explores despite the potential threat…

But he doesn’t want to be controlled by fear.  He’s not ignoring the danger—he’s alert.

This dream tells me of two conflicting aspects within myself…

Is the bold diver a potential and the fraidy cat the aspect I usually express?  No—I alternate between the two.  Often, in just a blink.  I jump forward, then I step back.  I’m reserved, then I’m bold.  I want to see, but I don’t want to look.

Of course, there’s a time to step forward and a time to step back…

But if you’re going into the ocean, you might as well step forward.  As the dream shows, as long as I’m in the water, I can’t avoid danger.

Here’s a secret about the fraidy cat aspect: this diver actually wants to explore.  Otherwise, she would’ve avoided the water altogether.

So, maybe it’s not a major conflict—maybe I can solve this problem without too much inner resistance.  But to remain aware of the problem, I must remember this dream.
 

© 2014, Michael R. Patton
OPEN ALL NIGHT: poems of our dream life

About Michael Patton

I am a poet, novelist, and storyteller...A new mythologist, a peace miller, a dream worker...I don't qualify as an illustrator or photographer--I just "make pictures"...I have thirteen books available at amazon... I currently reside in northwest Arkansas, but have lived and worked all over the United States... I'm self-taught, for the most part--which is like searching for the right door in the dark. It's an on-going process.... I don't want to write MY story, I want OUR story, so that's what I'm studying: the human story: past, present, future, in its many aspects--including the spiritual. I'm proceeding at a slow crawl.... I don't see the inner world and outer world as separate. By learning about myself, I learn about others, I learn about my world.... Conversely, as I struggle to understand what I see OUT THERE, I learn about myself.... But to be clear: I don't claim any special understanding. I'm still purblind, still only half-awake.... After frustrating experience with the publisher of my first novel, I've published on my own, beginning with e-books, with plans to move into print and audio. Even video.... Along with a second novel, I've now published eight books of poetry. Each poetry book focuses on a theme. For instance, the collection GLORIOUS TEDIOUS TRANSFORMATION is about the slow difficult wonderful process of change.... In that book, as with all my work, I try to be accessible to a general audience, while also striving to achieve a certain literary quality.
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