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A recent dream has me considering the cost of being human…

In the dream…

A breakfast at a pleasant restaurant has just ended.  Several friends and acquaintances are in the process of leaving…

I look at “D’s” table—she forgot to tip.  She was always so cheap!  I tell my friend “W” and we laugh.

Then we go to the counter to settle the bill.  I’m surprised at the cost.  I have enough room on my credit card—but not by much.

W and I must decide what to do next.  My future is a question mark.  I realize W should return to her job.  I can’t ask her to go with me when I don’t know where I’m going.

I have to tell her.  The parting will be sad for both of us.

The man behind the counter gives me a pouch filled with his collection of souvenir coins—mock pennies of various sizes.  Jokingly, I ask if I can pay with these.

So much stuff in this dream!  I knew it’d be quite a chore to dig into it all.  I couldn’t connect a bit of it to my waking life.

In any case, I felt pleased about this positive aspect: I was willing to be decisive in an emotionally difficult situation.

But I wasn’t pleased with this negative: I was hard-pressed to pay for that breakfast.

What was the dream telling me?

A cost had turned out to be more than expected.  I felt lacking in resources.

I could put the cost on hold—but only for so long.  I’m nearly over my limit.

Now I see a possible connection to my waking life:

Lately, I’ve been telling myself: I don’t want to look back right now.  I want to look ahead.  Yes, much of much importance has happened in my not-so-distant past.  But I can deal with all that later.

Difficult experiences obviously have a psychic cost for us.  But according to this dream: so does the fun stuff.  Maybe the message is: I must look back on both and try to come to terms with what has happened…

…whether I feel like it or not.  Ironically, the recipient of this payment would be me.

I’m not completely sold on this interpretation.  Nor should I be—until I delve deeper into the dream…

…and I will.  I need to know the truth.  I must see what accounts need to be settled and then settle those accounts—because I want to move on.

© 2017, Michael R. Patton
Open All Night: a poetry book

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About Michael Patton

I am a poet, novelist, essayist, cartoonist, graphic artist, peace miller, new mythologist, and fledgling world citizen.... I grew up in Northwest Arkansas and have lived and worked all over the United States.... I'm self-taught, for the most part--which is like searching for the right door in the dark. It's an on-going process.... I don't want to write MY story, I want OUR story, so that's what I'm studying: the human story: past, present, future, in its many aspects--including the spiritual. I'm proceeding at a slow crawl.... I don't see the inner world and outer world as separate. By learning about myself, I learn about others, I learn about my world.... Conversely, as I struggle to understand what I see OUT THERE, I learn about myself.... But to be clear: I don't claim any special understanding. I'm still purblind, still only half-awake.... After frustrating experience with the publisher of my first novel, I've published on my own, beginning with e-books, with plans to move into print and audio. Even video.... Along with a second novel, I've now published eight books of poetry. Each poetry book focuses on a theme. For instance, the collection GLORIOUS TEDIOUS TRANSFORMATION is about the slow difficult wonderful process of change.... In that book, as with all my work, I try to be accessible to a general audience, while also striving to achieve a certain literary quality.
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