seeing my blindness

Those dreams of driving blind are helping me to see…

In the dreams…

…I’m always driving late at night and can’t see where I’m going.

Maybe my headlights are too dim.  Or the windows have fogged up.  Or the streetlights are all out.

I’ve never wrecked in any of these dreams.  Partly due to my caution, but also partly due to luck…

…as in this dream:

I’ve reached the end of a city street and must turn.

Though I can barely see, I manage to make a left turn, then ease the car to the side of the road.

However, as I park, I must guess where the street ends and the curb begins—hopefully the car is completely out of the traffic lane.

Ironic, yes: through this dream, I saw I was having trouble seeing my way.

But though the message would seem to be very negative…

…as I considered the dream, I found some positives:

For one thing, I’m smart enough to stop until I can see better.

Yes, my safe passage is partly due to luck—a car could’ve hit me as I turned.  However, I didn’t press my luck; I didn’t try to keep going.  So maybe the message is: as long as I use good sense, luck will be on my side.

Another irony: though I can’t see, I do know where I’m going and how to get there—that’s typical of these dreams.

This dream motif hasn’t appeared lately, so perhaps I’m brighter these days.

However, I know it’ll likely return…

…to help me see when my lights have dimmed.

© 2018, Michael R. Patton
sky rope blog

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changing my mind…and heart

In my dreams, I make all sorts of mistakes…

…but I’m happy to report, ever so often, I do the right thing.

Consider this recent dream…

A garbage truck stops to empty the trash bin at the front of my driveway…

As it pulls away, a big metal piece falls off the rear end and lands in my yard.

I’m irritated because the truck just keeps on going.  So I grab the metal and march off to confront the driver at this office.

However…

…as I walk, I begin to think about how a small incident can sometimes set me off.  Later, I’ll regret getting so steamed.

So, by the time I find the driver at his office building, I’ve decided to handle the matter calmly.  I present the metal piece to him and explain what happened.

He didn’t know the metal had come off and appreciates its return.

So there’s hope for me yet!—

If I can be aware in this dream, then I can also be aware in my waking life when dealing with hot emotions.  Then, as in the dream, I can make a conscious choice—the right choice—instead of simply reacting…

By making that conscious choice in the dream, I seem to calm the inner conflict.  My calmness is then mirrored by a calm response from the other.  It’s real magic.

This dream suggests I’m making progress.  But I know the work is never done.  Never done, but worth the effort.  At the end of the dream, I receive the best reward: I feel damn good.

© 2018, Michael R. Patton
my war for peace: poetry ebook

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a present and future dilemma

Be careful of change for change’s sake…

So says a recent dream…

In the dream:

I’m preparing to move.  At my new apartment building, I won’t actually have a room—just a bed in an open hallway.

So, I’m having second thoughts.  However, I’ve already put down a deposit.  And that’s not my only expenditure—I’ve also paid for a community college course.  But do I really need that class?

Maybe I can cancel both the move and the course and get some of my money back.

This dream wouldn’t seem to relate to my current life.  Yes, there’s the desire for change—an impulse to shake things up a bit.  But I’m not in the process of making any moves, big or small, at present.

Maybe the dream is looking into the future and telling me: be careful.  You want to be more open.  But in so doing, you could go too far.

Yes, sleeping in a hallway would be extreme.  But what’d be the harm of enrolling in a class?

Let me be clear: I don’t take the message literally.  The course could represent any learning experience in a structured group setting…

At this point, I’m reminded of group experiences from my past.  Though some of these experiences have been good, so often I’ve felt disappointed, frustrated.  Too often, I’ve felt confined.  Restricted to a certain role.  And so, I’ve usually chosen the freedom of being on my own.  But here’s the paradox: that freedom can limit me in other ways.

So, whether I enroll or cancel, there’s a cost.

I’ve read: our dreams never give us answers to the problems they reveal.  I’m not sure if that’s always true…

…but I can see why this dream can’t answer the question it presents:

The problem in the dream is a problem I’ll likely encounter many times in the future.  And each time, the situation will be somewhat different.  So the answer won’t always be the same.

But for the present and the immediate future, I see myself going my own way.  Yes, I want to be more open.  I want to connect.  But I can do that without being stuck in a “class”.

Right now, I’m not willing to pay that cost, just for the sake of change.

© 2018, Michael R. Patton
myth steps blog

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positive progress report

I don’t understand this dream…

…and yet I’m encouraged by what it shows me.

In the dream…

A young workman has finished a project at my father’s house…

As he leaves, he steals a section from the newspaper on the kitchen table.

The nerve of the guy!  I hurry to catch him.  But as I do, I tell myself: be calm.  Don’t fly off the handle.

I find his RV parked in our driveway.  I enter and take the newspaper section from the workman.  I do say a few words to him—but without getting overheated.

After I exit, I see him at the steering wheel of the RV—but the wheel is on the passenger’s side.  A shadowy figure is mostly hidden on the opposite side.

I have many questions about this dream…

But I haven’t taken the time to answer any of them.  I have so much work begging for my attention right now…

Nonetheless, I did ask myself: Should I stop and look into this dream?

Yes, I would learn something…however, I believe:

There is a time to go within—to shine a light on the darker parts of our depths…

…but now is not that time.  Now I need to focus my energy elsewhere.

But I am glad I remembered this dream; I’m glad I took the time to write it down.  I look at it as a progress report…

At times, in the past, I’ve vented my anger when confronting those who’ve committed petty crimes against me…

…and later, often regretted getting so steamed.

This dream shows me being conscious in the moment—I’m able to stop myself before engaging in that harmful behavior.  I’m able to say “no” firmly—instead barking“NO!” without thinking.

I can’t quite believe I’ve made such a change in my waking life.

But in my experience, dreams don’t lie.

In any case, if I’m able to do that in a dream, I should be able to do it when awake.

© 2018, Michael R. Patton
my war for peace: poetry ebook

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me too?

Me too?

In a recent dream, our national conversation becomes a personal conversation…

Consider the dream…

I’m in a large spacious hall, talking to a helpful bank employee.  As we part, I touch her lightly on the shoulder—a spontaneous act of appreciation.

But I’m shocked at myself.  What have I done!  She could take this wrong way.

But no.  She doesn’t seem to give it any special thought.

Farther on down the hall, I meet and talk with another woman.  Again, the conversation is friendly, but nonsexual.  As we part, I touch her shoulder.

Once more, I’m alarmed: you idiot—you’ve done it again!

But this woman hardly seems to notice the gesture—just like the bank employee.

First, let me say: I’m not an aggressive man.  Never have been.  Nor am I the touchy-feely type.  I might touch a dog on the shoulder.  But that’s about it.

Maybe the message is: in light of recent harassment stories, I’ve become paranoid.

However, the touches in the dream may not represent actual physical touches. After all, you can “touch” a person with a verbal expression of genuine warmth.

I’m often concerned about someone taking something I say the wrong way.  This dream is showing that worry in high relief.  And also telling me: relax.

In the dream, both women are emotionally healthy.  I know that on a basic intuitive level.  On that level, I know they won’t misinterpret my warm response.  If I’d picked up a different vibe from either of them, I would’ve been more reserved.

Actually, they might’ve thought me weird if I hadn’t expressed appreciation.  That’s the irony: a cool, aloof response is more likely to be misconstrued.

The dream is saying: trust yourself—your instincts are good ones.

Yes, even at this late date, I’m learning about human relations.  But I guess I shouldn’t feel too bad—from what I see in our news, many of us still have much to learn.

© 2018, Michael R. Patton
myth steps blog

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Galaxy Sleep

Our dreams remind us how extraordinary our ordinary lives are.
 

GALAXY SLEEP

According to one theory…

as we ease into sleep
our minds begin to spiral
and expand
like a hurricane
like a galaxy:

though we think we rest
we actually spread and accelerate
through an interstellar space—

each night we extend
just a little bit more
than before—
we grow even as we snore.

But when the alarm sounds
we contract—
in a mere instant
we slam back together again!

I’m not sure of that theory
but I do know:
in a blink I’m awake
and in the rush of morning thought
I quickly forget
my nighttime universe…

but later, while waiting in traffic
I may sense a soft buzz of stardust within
then dimly recall a meteor or a planet.

What I lost probably wasn’t that important
I’ll tell myself

but in truth, at such times
I feel like a kid
who’s just missed the circus
and must return to class.

© 2018, Michael R. Patton
myth steps blog

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